Sunday, August 14, 2016

Setting Examples... and Why it's Been So Quiet on the Blog


I am not going to lie... Summer show season 2016 hasn't gone exactly how I had planned.   I had high expectations after winning blue after blue at the winter tournaments, and I had some of those similar expectations for myself this summer.  After all, I would be competing against some of those same people.   It's been tough, but I still come to work my shifts.   I still show up the day after the show to practice.  There have been so many times I have felt like giving up, like no one believes in me, and that maybe this isn't "my thing" after all.   I had stopped writing for the blog, and instead started formulating my "speech" for why I wouldn't be coming to lessons anymore.   This is real talk, people.

But at the last show, something miraculous happened.  And no, I am not talking about a ribbon.   I am not even talking about how I had to finish the second class minus one front shoe.

Here's what happened:

I had been working all morning at the barn,  trying to preserve my makeup while getting all of the show horses brushed and tacked and ready to compete for the day.   I was tired before I even mounted my horse for the first class.   To me, this was just another "eh" show, with minimal expectations because I had done so horribly this summer at the other shows.  

But as I was leaving the warm up ring and heading to the outdoor arena, so many of the little children stopped and said "good luck" to me.  Their eyes were wide with excitement and I could tell that the well wishes were very much genuine.  I started to chortle my usual sarcastic "yeah I will need it".   But instead of my sarcasm, I smiled back and said thank you.  

When we were in the line up in the second class, all of the children were packed into the "crow's nest", the area where our announcer sits.   I saw them peek at the numbers of the winning entries and immediately saw jaws drop and huge smiles--and they were looking right at me.   It was at that moment that I realized how much the younger riders look to us older riders and parents and friends, and how much of an example we can be.   it is not fair to myself or to them to be negative.   Because at some point, if I keep being negative, the number of children wishing me luck will diminish to zero and all I will have accomplished is teaching others that you don't ever need to believe in yourself, especially when times are tough.  

I am not perfect, and I never will be.   I have faults--especially like when I ride around the arena like I am in a toilet bowl and accidentally forget to switch my whip when we reverse and sometimes I even lose my stirrups going into the lineup.  
When it comes to who is watching you, the judge isn't the only one who matters.