Ten Things I Wish My Instructor Knew

This is my all-time favorite picture, mostly because it includes my really rad instructor.

1. I see you give "congratulations" to the winning riders. But most importantly, I also see you address those riders who did not win, and the riders who are sometimes crying.  The riders who don't quite understand yet.   You tell them they are going to work harder, you tell them they will get better, even though all you want to do is give them a huge hug and wipe away their tears.

2. Your face/voice  is the last thing I remember before I enter the show ring.   Everything after that is a crazy, stressful blur.   It is the only thing that gives me something familiar and calm to focus on.  Even if you're not talking to me inside the ring, your voice helps me know that I am okay and will definitely survive this class.

3. I am scared, sometimes.  Like that time a year ago when you made me ride Trix for the first time... outside.   I had only been at the LEC for a little over a year, and had only competed at a handful of shows, and I was scared to death.  I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you putting me on a different horse...  Which leads me to #4.

4. I believe I can do something just because you tell me I can.  Like when you made me ride Trix. Or when you told me I would be moving up into the canter division.   I questioned myself every day, but I trust you to make decisions that not only challenge us but keep us safe.  So I agreed to these things and never turned back.

5. I know you all sacrifice a lot to make sure we succeed.  Whether that involves money, health, family, or personal lives.   I appreciate it, even though I don't always say it.

6.  I like to give you nicknames like "B-Dub" and "B-Wizzle".   It makes it much more hilarious when I've made a mistake 1000 times and you are frustrated.  also it makes me feel extra cool. No if I could only get that new snapchat thing the kids are on, then I would be extra cool.

7.  Sometimes, I work really hard but it doesn't look like it.   We all know I am notorious for water-skiing in the saddle, and I swear I am working on it.   Sometimes I am trying really hard but I can't get my body to do what it needs to do.  Sometimes my head says "go" but my butt says "no".   I swear I am trying, mostly because I really wanna ride that new 5-gaited lesson horse... just sayin'.   But I also wanna not die, so there's that.

8. You don't always have to tell me I am doing well.   It's cool every once in a while, but I show up at the barn to learn.   You don't have to feel like you have to give praise just because or to feed the ego.  I've got thick skin and a desire to learn, and that's more than enough.  also, it makes me appreciate those times when I do get praise.

9.  When I say I really don't like certain horses, I mean it.   But thanks for still making me ride them anyway.  It makes me a better rider and I feel like a boss when I have a good ride on a horse I don't like.

10. Thank you for all that you do.  Thanks for making the barn one of the safest, most accepting places I have in my life.   thank you for all of the friendships you helped me form-with both horses and people.   Thanks for not giving up on any of us, even when we fail HARD.   Thanks for treating us all with the same level of respect and attention.

You're FREAKIN' GREAT.
That is all.

Today I Had the Most Horrible Ride... It's a Matter of PERSPECTIVE

This isn't a long post, but it was something I was thinking about yesterday after my lesson.  I had already scheduled a post for yesterday, so I left this one in the back of my brain for a bit.   I loved it so much, I thought I would share.

This "poem" is very indicative of our minds as riders.  Sometimes (like my ride on Thursday) we are blessed to have amazing rides on amazing horses who give their hearts one thousand percent.  Those are the rides where we feel strong, confident, and untouched.

But it isn't always perfect.

Sometimes, a horse spooks.  Sometimes, we are "off" our game.  Sometimes, we are sick, tired, worried about other things.  Sometimes, we try our hardest and still come up short.  Sometimes we spend countless dollars getting to a show only to get last place.

But a moment is never wasted.   If you learned a lesson, even if it is a small one, you have not wasted a moment of time or a single dollar.   Ribbons cost $2, but the lessons you learn are worth so much more and you will carry them with you for the rest of your life.

So, it is a matter of perspective.  Are you going to see a bad ride as just that, or are you going to dust off your shoes, get back on, and look back at that ride from a new perspective?

Horse Show Superstitions--Or Why I sometimes Don't Wear Socks

Let's paint the picture, shall we?

It is my last lesson before a show, and I arrive at the barn.  I am nervous.  I am anxious.  I check my gear a million times before the lesson begins.

And I don't have socks on.

That's right, people.  No socks.  Even when it is below freezing.   Even in the hot summer.

I do this on purpose.

Why?   Because wearing socks during the last lesson before a show is terribly unlucky.  If you're my instructor, you think I'm crazy.   But I think they've learned to deal with my unique ways.  After all, I have informed them that there is, in fact, an unlucky whip (it is the really short white one just so you know) and an unlucky saddle (the #8).    Yes, I am extremely superstitious.   But why?

I did a quick google search of "horse show superstitions" and found so many articles and forums where riders talk about their lucky socks, their "unlucky" meals, and more.   Why do so many riders have superstitions?

I think superstitions are okay (I think my instructor may think otherwise when I make her give me another whip or a different saddle to ride in).   They are okay because they help those people like me, people who can be so "in their heads" that it can jeopardize the show before it even starts.

You see, by having these "superstitions", we are creating a routine.   And in that routine, we feel prepared for what is to come.  It eases our minds and helps us feel like we are moving forward, even when we are scared to death.

So this is one small snippet of my horse show routine.   In the mornings before a show, I always wake up, listen to my pre-prepared playlist, drink coffee, and eat a CLIF bar and a banana.   I do this every show morning.  I get to the show early so I can watch the judge and figure out if he/she prefers quicker horse, more aggressive riders, or if he/she is asking everyone to reverse at the trot.  I am not someone who can waltz into the show five minutes before go-time.   I need my routine, and I feel woefully unprepared if something messes it up.

So, go on with your bad self.  Choose those socks an hour before the show, wear your lucky underwear, chew your lucky gum and be as superstitious as you need to be in order to feel prepared.

I am curious- what are YOUR horse show superstitions?

10 Things I Learned While Working at the Barn

I don't know what possessed me to begin picking up shifts at the barn.  Maybe it was because I needed something else to do--you know, I already teach full-time and take two graduate courses each semester so I might as well add something else.  Or maybe I just wanted to be with the horses, since I just love being at the barn even when I don't ride.  Or maybe I needed to work so I could ride more, or show more.   Maybe it was all of these reasons.  Either way, I've still learned a lot.

Here are all of the things I've learned from summer camp, pony parties, school groups, and working as a lesson helper:

1. Our lesson ponies are priceless.
I didn't realize how much we rely on our "bombproof" lesson ponies until I watched them faithfully carry nervous riders who were learning how to post.  These are the same horses that work all day and don't fuss too much when a child decides to hang all over them at the end.  They are the horses who let children paint them all the colors of the rainbow.   They are the horses who listen to the excited squeals of little girls who are finally living their dreams.   They are also the horses who are loyal, especially to those riders who come from tough backgrounds and may be experiencing turmoil in their own lives.  These horses are truly the gems of the lesson program.

2. Raking barn aisles is an art form.
I was taught by one of the greatest (I am looking at you, Anna!), and this is one of my favorite things to do at the barn.   Usually, raking happens when the barn is empty and the horses are quietly chomping on hay, which makes for a soothing, zen-like experience.  There is a specific calculation of lengths, angles, and timing, but I love it.  It's like my own little zen garden.   I don't care that it takes me 10 minutes longer to rake than everyone else does, I make mine look GOOD.

3. Don't ever say "This is going to be an easy shift"
I made that mistake once and precisely 12482988 unexpected things happened that night.  Sometimes, people just show up.  Sometimes, a horse discovers its reflection for the first time.  Sometimes, the power goes out in the middle of the lessons and leaves everyone in the dark.   Sometimes, the barn decides that it doesn't want to hold snow on its roof anymore.   If you can think of it, it has happened at some point.

4. There is a special place in the afterlife for those who don't roll run-downs/polos correctly.  
There is nothing worse than  tacking up a horse just in the nick of time and getting to the last run-down and then realizing that it had been rolled incorrectly and that the velcro is on the other side.  You have two choices: twist it and velcro anyway, or re-roll it.   either way, you are going to get a stern "hurry up" but one of those options will be a little more intense.  You guess which one.

5. There are ways to look busy when you have 5 minutes of breathing time.
We've all been there.  Exhausted, hot, cold, worn out, whatever.   When you have five minutes to finally breathe (or use the restroom), you can find ways to look busy which include but are not limited to: walking with "purpose" while looking straight ahead, avoiding eye contact with anyone, and disappearing into the hay trailer, camp room, storage closets, stalls, etc.

6. A lesson is pretty valuable.   
I think everyone should be required to work for at least one lesson at one point in their lives.   You value your lesson so much when you know what it is worth.   It's the same thing as paying for your way through college; you'll work harder and know exactly how much it is "worth" when you are responsible for paying/working for your own way.   I think I always ride the best when I work a shift that day, because it reminds me just how valuable a lesson really is.

7. It will start raining on your way to the hay truck.  Just accept your fate.
Oh, the weatherman didn't call for rain today?   That's going to change.

8. Working at the barn is an endurance sport.
The first time I worked a shift and then rode at the end for my lesson, I was exhausted.  It's no wonder that our lesson workers are some of the best riders in the barn-- you have to have some mad endurance skills in order to feed, water, get horses ready, take out trash, sweep, etc., and then ride at the end.  If you're looking for ways to burn calories, this is the job for you.

9. We run on "barn time", not real time.
Your watch says it is 1:30? No, it is midnight.  The show was supposed to start 30 minutes ago?   We run on BARN TIME, people.  Show up early, but don't expect to do anything on time.  Things just happen (see question #3), and there is nothing you can do about it.  

10. A barn is a family.
When I normally ride, it is one of the least busy days of the week.   But through working, I have gotten the opportunity to work when the barn is teeming with clients, and little girls lead their ponies into the arena and seasoned riders chat by the stalls.   I am reminded of how much we really are a family, and how everyone works together and appreciates one another.  It may be something as simple as showing a young rider where their horse's stall is located or lending a helping hand in the tack room, but it is those small acts of kindness that bring us together.

There is so much laughter and joy and friendship in this barn.

And that, my friends, is the most important thing that I have learned.

The Six Stages of Befriending your instructor on Facebook

1. Pre-request stalking.  At this stage, you've not yet befriended your instructor on facebook, but you want to.  Maybe your parent is friends with them, or you see them tagged in posts on social media.   You've not quite gathered up the nerve to send a friend request, but that doesn't stop you from snooping.  You go full FBI mode in order to gather enough information (common friends, number of friends, number of pictures posted, content type and frequency) in order to calculate the probability of this new friendship. But spread your little wings, young grasshopper, and hit that request button.

2. Questioning your choices Oh, dang.  You did it.  You really did it.   Now what?   Now is time to question your life (or social media) choices.  You check your profile to make sure it looks "horsey" enough (but not too much).   You wait and wait and wait.   Still no approval message.   Now you question again.   Am I worthy of friendship?   Will they accept?   What if they don't? Am I even 'allowed' to add this person on facebook or is there some kind of rule that prohibits it?   Okay, time to google...

3. Excitement.  Finally!   That long-awaited approval message.  It's like a sign from the horsey gods above.   You were meant to be together--as facebook friends, at least.   You walk with a little pep in your step and make everyone aware of your new facebook friendship.

4. Stalking again.  Now is the time for the good stuff.  You order a pizza and prepare for a night of going through every post, every picture, every tagged item that was once hidden from non-friend view.   You feel entitled, but still a little sneaky.  It's kind of like going through someone's closet, except that you are kind of friends and this person is usually kind of cool.

5. TAG IN ALL THE THINGS.  OH MY there are so many things out there that your instructor must see, and you must tag them in it now.   52 free thoroughbred horses? TAG.  Had a good or bad lesson? TAG.   Really cool outfit, socks, bridle, saddle, video? TAG.   How have they lived their lives without you as a facebook friend?

6. Complacency or "Can I ride tomorrow?" At this point, you've gotten so comfortable and complacent with your new "friend" that you don't even think about it--until you remember that you need to cancel your ride, or pick up another lesson.  Who needs a phone when you have social media?

Aside from getting your first blue ribbon, befriending your instructor on facebook is probably one of the coolest moments of your life.

So if you haven't already, hit that dang friend request button, order a pizza, and prepare for a long night of stalking.

How You Can Reach Your Resolutions Without a Clear Plan

Over Christmas break, I had the honor of helping out with our annual New Year's Sleepover.   Once a year, a bunch of our riders get together and spend the night in the barn.    The kiddos even get to ride a horse at midnight and toast to the new year!   Here are a few pictures from that night.

 

But I digress.

So, part of this tradition is for all riders, including the counselors, to sit down and create New Year's Resolutions.  They were riding related, of course. Some riders wished to work on their leg positions, or get their horse to flat walk or finally be able to trot around the ring without stopping.  Some riders had loftier goals, like buying a horse or winning at National Academy Finals.   Either way, everyone had something they wished to work on.

The second part of the task was not so easy.  Each rider, again, was asked to write down how exactly they were going to achieve this goal.   Many riders had vague responses, like "listen to my instructor more", or "ride more", or "stay positive".    

The truth is, you don't need a clear plan.   I mean, sure.  set milestones to keep you on track.   But don't try to create a set-in-stone plan for yourself.  Let the universe know what you want and do everything you can to work towards that goal.  Stop worrying about the specifics and you will be able to live in the moment, and take every opportunity that is presented to you.  Because most of the time, your dreams do not come in the way you expect.

Earlier this year, I watched a commencement speech from Jum Carrey in which he stated, "As far as I can tell, it's just about letting the universe know what you want and then working toward it while letting go of how it comes to pass."

This is so incredibly relevant to riding because sometimes we have goals and we worry every single day about how we are going to get there.  These worries are barriers and keep us from realizing that those learning moments, and there are wonderful opportunities right in front of us.   I am guilty of this, too.   I have my own goals to count (mostly I would like to do a workout without forgetting a step or almost falling off). One loftier, "sometime in the future" goal includes getting my own horse.  I've been privileged to own my own horse in the past--a wonderful Tennessee Walking Horse named Royal Editon-- and I can't wait to experience that same happiness again.   I don't see an immediate "path" to this goal, but I know what I want, and I take every opportunity to work towards that goal.   I am getting my graduate degree to make more money.  I take shifts at the barn when I can, I ride as many different horses as I can, and I take every opportunity to learn.   I may also be a member of one or more "Saddlebreds for Sale" groups, but no matter.   

You can do this too.  You can work towards your goal without having a plan clearly defined, calculated, and set in stone.   You can do this by riding new horses, asking questions, learning new skills, or catching rides on other people's horses...

And most importantly, let the universe know what you want.  Do not be afraid to say it out loud.  Shout it to the rooftops if you must.  Even if it seems too grand, too out of reach, too impossible, say it anyway.

because when we dream big, we are giving ourselves permission to be GREAT.

Things You Can Do That Require NO Talent and NO Money.

I get it all the time.  From fellow riders, parents, and others who might be interested in riding for the first time.   It's so expensive. Well, you DO get what you pay for.   And while not all of us can afford to ride as much as others, or buy as much gear, or even own our own horse, there are things that we call can do that require no talent and no money.

Be on Time.  This does not mean strolling into the barn five minutes after your lesson has started toting a new saddle or helmet that needs time to be fitted properly before the lesson.  It means arriving a few minutes early to check your equipment and your horse's tack.   Check to see that the run downs are velcroed and shin boots fitted properly.  Make sure that your horse's hooves are picked out.  If you know your horse will need a bath after the lesson, prepare a bucket of water for after your ride.

Work Ethic. Volunteer.  Do extra.  If you see trash around the stall, pick it up.   put your tack away yourself (yes, we have lesson helpers but they have enough to do).   Notice that your horse is out of water?  We have hoses conveniently located around the barn.  Fill up the bucket.   Offer to help if a younger rider needs help getting their horse put away.  don't expect others to do something for you.  When I have to ask for help, my favorite phrase is "I don't know to ____ but if you show me/teach me how I can do it from now on".

Effort. Be willing to work for what you want.   If you know your legs or upper body needs improvement, don't wait for your instructor to remind you.   work on this from the moment your butt hits the saddle and make the most of every minute of your lesson.   Three half-hearted lessons are not worth nearly as much as one lesson where you give it your all.

Body Language.  This is important, both on and off the horse.  If you roll into the barn, shoulders hunched and looking like you are dreading your lesson, you will ride like that.   If you look like you are confident, ready to work and excited to be there, you will be a LOT more coachable and you'll have a better ride.

Energy. Have a willing mindset.  Work hard, with everything you've got.   Got a little cold?  Don't cancel your lesson.  Instead, use that as a teachable moment for finding energy even when you don't think you can.  You won't always show at 100% health or in 100% perfect weather, so prepare for it!

Attitude. If you think you are going to fail, you will.   Be positive and you will notice changes in your riding.   If you had a bad show, or lesson, or week of lessons, take those as a teachable moment.  No time was wasted if you learned something.   Most importantly, be honest with yourself.  Blaming judges or other competitors will get you nowhere.  Find ways to overcome adversity-one time I swore that the only way I was going to win is if I rode in lane 2 almost the whole time, blocking another competitor from view.  it worked, and I won 1st place in a very large class.

Passion. Stay informed.  Learn.   Ask questions.  Stay later or come early to watch lessons so that you can learn.  All of these things show that you have a passion for what you do.

Be Coachable. When your instructor yells at you for the 1000th time that your legs are not in the right position, avoid the temptation to roll your eyes.  Fix it, or at least try your best to.  Never say "I Can't" unless you feel you are in danger.   Trust your instructor.  I promise, they DO know what they are doing.

Do Extra. Volunteer. Sign up to work a shift or a pony party.  Groom your favorite horse, even if it wasn't the one you rode that day.   Help someone else bathe their horse.  Straighten up the tack room.  clean tack.  Take out the trash.  And most importantly, do it without expecting anything in return.

Be Prepared. Make sure you have all of your gear before you leave for the barn.   Ensure that your horse is tacked properly, and then take a second before your lesson to center yourself.  Think about what you want to focus on for the lesson.   Talk to the horse (or give them a very stern pep talk if you need to).   Drink water and make sure you're not riding on an empty (or really full) stomach.   Take a second to breathe and prepare your mind and body for what you're about to do.

There you go, folks.   No money out of pocket and no "special, born-with-it talent" required.  Everything you want is already there-- you just have to work for it.