How You Can Reach Your Resolutions Without a Clear Plan

Over Christmas break, I had the honor of helping out with our annual New Year's Sleepover.   Once a year, a bunch of our riders get together and spend the night in the barn.    The kiddos even get to ride a horse at midnight and toast to the new year!   Here are a few pictures from that night.

 

But I digress.

So, part of this tradition is for all riders, including the counselors, to sit down and create New Year's Resolutions.  They were riding related, of course. Some riders wished to work on their leg positions, or get their horse to flat walk or finally be able to trot around the ring without stopping.  Some riders had loftier goals, like buying a horse or winning at National Academy Finals.   Either way, everyone had something they wished to work on.

The second part of the task was not so easy.  Each rider, again, was asked to write down how exactly they were going to achieve this goal.   Many riders had vague responses, like "listen to my instructor more", or "ride more", or "stay positive".    

The truth is, you don't need a clear plan.   I mean, sure.  set milestones to keep you on track.   But don't try to create a set-in-stone plan for yourself.  Let the universe know what you want and do everything you can to work towards that goal.  Stop worrying about the specifics and you will be able to live in the moment, and take every opportunity that is presented to you.  Because most of the time, your dreams do not come in the way you expect.

Earlier this year, I watched a commencement speech from Jum Carrey in which he stated, "As far as I can tell, it's just about letting the universe know what you want and then working toward it while letting go of how it comes to pass."

This is so incredibly relevant to riding because sometimes we have goals and we worry every single day about how we are going to get there.  These worries are barriers and keep us from realizing that those learning moments, and there are wonderful opportunities right in front of us.   I am guilty of this, too.   I have my own goals to count (mostly I would like to do a workout without forgetting a step or almost falling off). One loftier, "sometime in the future" goal includes getting my own horse.  I've been privileged to own my own horse in the past--a wonderful Tennessee Walking Horse named Royal Editon-- and I can't wait to experience that same happiness again.   I don't see an immediate "path" to this goal, but I know what I want, and I take every opportunity to work towards that goal.   I am getting my graduate degree to make more money.  I take shifts at the barn when I can, I ride as many different horses as I can, and I take every opportunity to learn.   I may also be a member of one or more "Saddlebreds for Sale" groups, but no matter.   

You can do this too.  You can work towards your goal without having a plan clearly defined, calculated, and set in stone.   You can do this by riding new horses, asking questions, learning new skills, or catching rides on other people's horses...

And most importantly, let the universe know what you want.  Do not be afraid to say it out loud.  Shout it to the rooftops if you must.  Even if it seems too grand, too out of reach, too impossible, say it anyway.

because when we dream big, we are giving ourselves permission to be GREAT.

Things You Can Do That Require NO Talent and NO Money.

I get it all the time.  From fellow riders, parents, and others who might be interested in riding for the first time.   It's so expensive. Well, you DO get what you pay for.   And while not all of us can afford to ride as much as others, or buy as much gear, or even own our own horse, there are things that we call can do that require no talent and no money.

Be on Time.  This does not mean strolling into the barn five minutes after your lesson has started toting a new saddle or helmet that needs time to be fitted properly before the lesson.  It means arriving a few minutes early to check your equipment and your horse's tack.   Check to see that the run downs are velcroed and shin boots fitted properly.  Make sure that your horse's hooves are picked out.  If you know your horse will need a bath after the lesson, prepare a bucket of water for after your ride.

Work Ethic. Volunteer.  Do extra.  If you see trash around the stall, pick it up.   put your tack away yourself (yes, we have lesson helpers but they have enough to do).   Notice that your horse is out of water?  We have hoses conveniently located around the barn.  Fill up the bucket.   Offer to help if a younger rider needs help getting their horse put away.  don't expect others to do something for you.  When I have to ask for help, my favorite phrase is "I don't know to ____ but if you show me/teach me how I can do it from now on".

Effort. Be willing to work for what you want.   If you know your legs or upper body needs improvement, don't wait for your instructor to remind you.   work on this from the moment your butt hits the saddle and make the most of every minute of your lesson.   Three half-hearted lessons are not worth nearly as much as one lesson where you give it your all.

Body Language.  This is important, both on and off the horse.  If you roll into the barn, shoulders hunched and looking like you are dreading your lesson, you will ride like that.   If you look like you are confident, ready to work and excited to be there, you will be a LOT more coachable and you'll have a better ride.

Energy. Have a willing mindset.  Work hard, with everything you've got.   Got a little cold?  Don't cancel your lesson.  Instead, use that as a teachable moment for finding energy even when you don't think you can.  You won't always show at 100% health or in 100% perfect weather, so prepare for it!

Attitude. If you think you are going to fail, you will.   Be positive and you will notice changes in your riding.   If you had a bad show, or lesson, or week of lessons, take those as a teachable moment.  No time was wasted if you learned something.   Most importantly, be honest with yourself.  Blaming judges or other competitors will get you nowhere.  Find ways to overcome adversity-one time I swore that the only way I was going to win is if I rode in lane 2 almost the whole time, blocking another competitor from view.  it worked, and I won 1st place in a very large class.

Passion. Stay informed.  Learn.   Ask questions.  Stay later or come early to watch lessons so that you can learn.  All of these things show that you have a passion for what you do.

Be Coachable. When your instructor yells at you for the 1000th time that your legs are not in the right position, avoid the temptation to roll your eyes.  Fix it, or at least try your best to.  Never say "I Can't" unless you feel you are in danger.   Trust your instructor.  I promise, they DO know what they are doing.

Do Extra. Volunteer. Sign up to work a shift or a pony party.  Groom your favorite horse, even if it wasn't the one you rode that day.   Help someone else bathe their horse.  Straighten up the tack room.  clean tack.  Take out the trash.  And most importantly, do it without expecting anything in return.

Be Prepared. Make sure you have all of your gear before you leave for the barn.   Ensure that your horse is tacked properly, and then take a second before your lesson to center yourself.  Think about what you want to focus on for the lesson.   Talk to the horse (or give them a very stern pep talk if you need to).   Drink water and make sure you're not riding on an empty (or really full) stomach.   Take a second to breathe and prepare your mind and body for what you're about to do.

There you go, folks.   No money out of pocket and no "special, born-with-it talent" required.  Everything you want is already there-- you just have to work for it.

Why I REALLY chose to lose weight

Anyone who knows me knows that I am an impulsive person.   One morning, I woke up and decided that I wanted to run a half marathon-and I had zero running experience.  I trained hard and ended up reaching that goal.   One morning, I decided that I wanted to learn how to crochet.  Another time, I decided that I would teach myself how to decorate cookies for my wedding instead of buying them.  All of these decisions were made in less than a day.

So was the decision to lose weight.

I knew for a while that I had been a *little* overweight, but I had refused to buy or step on a scale in five years.  Even when I was running on a regular basis, I still did not seem to lose any weight-in fact, I gained weight while training for the half marathon.

It was last May, a little over a year since I returned to riding, when I read this article from Horse Channel.   Essentially, the article discusses how rider weight can affect the horse.   My first thought was well, I'm not really a beginner so I think I don't ride as *heavy* as someone who doesn't know what they're doing.  However, that same OSU study used experienced equestrians who were told to ride as lightly as possible.   Even still, riders who weighed more caused more stress on the horse.  I won't go into details too much here, but you can click this link to view the article:  http://www.horsechannel.com/horse-news/2014/10/01-too-heavy-to-ride.aspx

There are barns who have a strict weight limit under 200 pounds, and will not allow any riders over this weight.  Our barn does not have this policy, and I am thankful, a little, for this.  I would have been turned down before the first lesson.  I am also thankful that we have a wide variety of horses to ride, from Haflinger horses to stocky Saddlebreds and Morgans.

Even though I knew that we had horses for all rider types, I also knew that rider weight ultimately affects the horse, no matter how "strong" the horse.

So I bought a scale.

I was floored.

I won't say exactly how much I saw on that little screen on the scale, but I will say that I weighed myself about fifteen times, even trying to move the scale to a different spot on the floor for a different result.   Without revealing my initial weight, I can say that, according to that article, I was "too heavy to ride".

So I made changes.   Slow changes, changes that I knew I could keep up with.  I laughed it off when people asked why I was losing weight, or when people snubbed at my choice to eat something healthy over my usual choice.   Sometimes, I even joked and responded with "well, I am losing weight so I can win more blue ribbons".  

Now it is January and I have lost over 55 pounds.  I am no longer "too heavy to ride".    I have had to deal with some unexpeced (and sometimes hilarious) "changes" which include:

1. Having to ride in a smaller saddle but loving it.
2. Having to work extra hard to sit further back in the saddle- I was used to all of me filling up the seat!
3. Not feeling secure in the saddle after losing weight-it is amazing how much your balance is affected.
4. Not being winded and exhausted during the lesson.
5. Being able to ride a lot more (and different) horses because I am not limited by horses that can carry my weight.
6. More blue ribbons.  OBVIOUSLY.
7. Feeling more confident in the show ring.   Yes I WILL stare down a judge if I need to.
8. More clothing options!   It's a lot easier to find work and show attire when you are a smaller size.

So, there you have it.   The REAL reason why I chose to lose weight.

I didn't do it for the blue ribbons, or the clothes, or even the chance to feel so dang confident that I stare down a judge.

I did it for the horses.