"Never Give Up" by guest author, Makayla James

“NEVER GIVE UP!” I shout to the world.

No one should ever give up on their dreams. If you want it, go for it! I did.

Once upon a time, I was a dreamy, horse-obsessed girl. I looked up to those who won ribbons at national and world horse shows. I said, “I want to be like them.” I watched them compete for Team USA in equestrian competitions and I said, “I want to do that.”

So, here I am. I have won ribbons at national and world shows. I am getting the chance to try out for Team USA.

How did I do it? I never gave up. I struggled, I fought, and I even cried, but I never gave up. There were times when I thought, “I can’t do this, I will never be like them.”  Every time I thought that, I vowed to stay positive, and I told myself, “Never give up.” People asked me, “How do you stay so positive?” Well, it wasn’t easy. I am human, and I make mistakes. I have been defeated and let down. The more I failed, the more I persevered. So, I worked for it. While some of my dreams have come true, I still have many to accomplish.

Remember, don’t dream your dreams, live them. Oh, and never give up.

“Good things come to those who believe, better things come to those who are patient and the best
things come to those who don’t give up” (Unknown)



Makayla rides at the Louisville Equestrian Center in Taylorsville, Ky.  She will try out for the United States Saddle Seat World Cup team in December.

What Story are YOU telling?

Thanks to Facebook "memories" I have been reliving last year's road to nationals.  It breaks my heart to see posts where I was so down, so frustrated with myself.  It makes me smile to see the good posts, but also anxious because I know the outcome of that season. 

 And here I am, still reliving it every day but trying to focus on the task at hand. 

But these "memories" make me wonder: what story was I telling last year? Is it a story of defeat?  Failure? Even though I didn't make it to the final round, I cannot say it was a story of defeat.

Because, you see, we are telling a story whether we like it or not.  And just like in the cinemas or dusty bookshelves, there are so many stories to be told, each wonderful and unique.  Some are stories of tragedy, love, despair.  Some are comedies.  Some are tales of triumph.  Some are horror stories. 

I have really resisted the urge to label last season as "horror" or "comedy." Because let's be real--it was a lot of both and not in a good way.  Kind of like those B-movies that use ketchup for the really gory scenes and it is so ridiculous you just can't look away.  

However, I have realized one simple truth: we are in control of what story we are telling. 

And my story is an inspirational story.

My story is about a girl who refused to give up.  A girl who loaded probably hundreds of bales of hay and led a thousand beginner children in the summer months.  This is the story of a girl who adopted the motto of "I will ride anything".  A girl who went to the gym, who lost 80 pounds, who had the courage to try one more time. And not that success is measured in blue ribbons, but there have been quite a few of those this year, too. 

But above all else, this is the story of a girl who has decided to become a champion. 

I am not sure how long it will take, or how I will get there, but I am in control of my own story. 

And you know what? You are too. 

So what will your story be? 

Effort is YOUR responsibility.

The barn has really been buzzing these last few weeks: new school groups, preparing for horse shows, camps, lessons and more lessons.   I work a LOT at the barn (and by that I mean I have considered just sleeping there on more than one occasion), so I get to see all of these lessons and interactions.   There is one theme that has really emerged these last few weeks:   effort.

There is no point at which riding becomes "easier".   You can always sit up taller, ride or do workouts without stirrups, ride more advanced horses, improve your shoulders, work on ring management... the list goes on.   It will only be "easier" if you stop putting in the effort.   Which brings me to the main point of this post:

Effort is YOUR responsibility.  

It isn't your parent's responsibility to make you care. 

It isn't your friend's responsibility to make sure you know how much of a GREAT (or horrible) ride you had.

It isn't your horse's responsibility to mind-read.   

It isn't your trainer's responsibility to make you post on the correct diagonal, or keep your horse from breaking gait, or to push yourself and your horse to be better each day.  

It is YOUR responsibility.   

What are you doing, every single day, to ensure you are reaching your goals?   Is EVERY part of your body in sync?   Are your toes, heels, knees, thighs, hips, core, shoulder, hands, and head telling your horse to keep the gait?   If your answer is "no", don't blame the horse or someone else, or the weather, or anything else---blame it on your own lack of effort.   An instructor, parent, friend, spouse, or judge cannot make you do anything you don't want to do yourself.   

So what does effort look like?

Effort looks like showing up to your lessons on time.   It is checking your own equipment multiple times to make sure your horse is prepared for the lesson.   Effort is not taking things personally, even when your instructor is hard on you.   Effort is not expecting the "shoe-in to win" horse.   It is riding anything ad everything, and not being afraid of a challenge.  Effort is utilizing every moment of your lesson.    It is sitting up and riding correctly, even when your instructor isn't looking.   Effort is dragging yourself to the gym at 5am before you work a 6 hour shift because you have goals.   It is trying one more, two more, three more times after a failure.   It is bringing brownies to the barn after a fall and having the strength to get back on.

Effort is looking at the odds that are stacked against you and proudly declaring, "watch this."

So the next time you are faced with a challenge, remember that you can only overcome it by looking within yourself and finding the effort to tackle this obstacle.

Effort is YOUR responsibility.
No one is going to do it for you.

Jealousy and the Horse World.... and How to Deal.

I have been trying to think for a while about how to write this post.   It was actually one of the first ideas that I came up with when I started my blog about a year ago.   However, even though I experience this emotion quite frequently, I have never found the right words to convey what I wanted to say.   What is this emotion?

Jealousy, people.

you are lying if you say you aren't jealous of someone else.

It rears its ugly head in the beginning months of show season, when teams of horses and riders are being paired up, and some of us sit behind, hoping and praying that our favorite lesson horses aren't bought or leased by someone else.   It happens when you work hard, really, really hard and have a good ride on a REALLY tough horse but you don't pull the blue.   Instead, it is someone with their near-perfect horse with a smooth, effortless canter who takes the victory lap.    Jealousy is when you show against someone who rides a horse they've practiced on for months, while you've practiced on your mount for a couple of weeks, if you're lucky.   It's knowing that this year's division will be stacked with riders who have their own (or leased) horse, while you will be riding whatever they take to the show.   Jealousy is those people who have custom clothes every year.   Jealousy is wishing you didn't have to carefully calculate how much you will have to save to go to nationals each year, and wishing even more that somehow the judges would have more sympathy for people like you.  

It's hard.   and I'll tell ya, I feel it.   All the time.   I try to play is off, and I joke that there is not a single person I ride against that I am afraid of.   I've worked HARD over the winter, and I have improved drastically since October.   But that does not mean that I am immune to jealousy.  

But I AM trying to do something about it.   So what can you do to overcome jealousy?

Be thankful.  I am thankful that I will have a horse to ride at the show, even if it is a different one each time.  I am thankful for great friends, who support and raise me up even when I am at my lowest point.  I am thankful that those same friends also tell me like it is, and call me out when I am being too whiny or too negative or looking to put the blame on someone else.   I am thankful for all of those people that have let me borrow things:  from saddles, to whips, to gloves and jewelry.    I am thankful that I get the opportunity to work as much as I do.   I am thankful for no-stirrup lessons and stronger legs.   I am thankful to have an instructor who looks out for me, even though I am quite the handful in the ring.    As my husband so aptly puts it, I enter the ring like I am "upside down, on fire, and in the fence".   It's true, and not just reserved for the show ring; I do my own stunts in the warm-up area, too.    

Be aware.    I know that it is going to be much more difficult to ride against those people with their own horses, nicer clothes, etc.   But I can sit back and cry about how it is unfair, or I can work hard enough that I can ride any horse in the barn, and win.  So I've been riding every chance I get.   And when I can't ride, I workout at home.   I am losing even more weight, so I will be as in shape as I can be.  

Be tough.  It isn't going to be easy--but it is better than drowning in jealousy.

What to Do When the Odds are Stacked Against You

It seems to be that time of year again.  The time when little children are surprised with their first (or fourth) horse, when horses are leased and bought, when teams are being formed for the new year. These people would get to practice with their new partner all year--while I will most likely find out in September who my Nationals partner will be.

The odds are stacked against me.

I am only in my second season showing at the canter, and this is only my third season and third year riding saddleseat.   I am an adult, which means I don’t learn as fast as some of the younger riders.  

The odds are stacked against me.

I am shorter, my legs a little less “defined” than a lot of other riders.  I am slightly more curvy than some of the other riders, though I am working on it.    My neck is a little shorter and my jaw does this really weird thing when I am focusing really hard.

The odds are stacked against me.

This time last year, I only rode once a week.   I didn’t begin riding multiple times a week until a couple of months before Nationals.

The odds are stacked against me.

I do not have the nicest clothes, I don’t own my own saddle.  I lose my show gloves at least once a month.

The odds are stacked against me.

I didn’t make it past the second round last year at nationals, despite giving it everything I had.   

So why do I continue, even though the odds seem so insurmountable?    

Because I have two choices.  Give up, and let doubt control my life or work harder, stronger, smarter than everyone else.   It has been said that doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.  It is true. We do not know what we will look like when we reach our full potential.   And I think that scares us.  Makes us wonder if the work is really worth it.  Because, no matter how hard you work, you will also fail, many many times.   Muhammad Ali failed many times, yet he is still considered the greatest.    How good we are, and what kind of person we are is shown by how well we rise after falling.     If you work hard at something, and truly enjoy it, then you will inevitably become good at it.   

So how do you work harder?   Volunteer.   Work for lessons.   Watch lessons when you can’t afford to take another one this week.   Tune in to live feeds of shows across the country.   Ask questions.  Ride whatever you’re given, and don’t pout when you don’t get to ride the “fancy” horse every week.    Be a good sportsman.   Say thank you.    Pet your horse when he’s done a good job, and don’t punish the horse--or yourself for a bad ride.   Embrace your faults, but work to make them better.    Join a gym.   Buy or borrow exercise equipment.   Ask more questions.  Learn theory, and the “why” of what we do.  Know every part of the equipment and their function.  And when you think you have learned everything and done everything you can, ask more questions.  And most importantly, find the courage to try again, even after failing.   

So when the odds are stacked against you, when it seems like there is no hope in sight, keep going.    Embrace that moment, when you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.    That, truly is where you will find yourself.   

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.

How a pink slip, a video game, and a little bit of luck led me back to horses

Life works in mysterious, amazing ways.    I had given up horses after my favorite horse, Royal Edition, passed away.  I felt the guilt of not being there (I was living elsewhere at the time), and I felt like it was my fault.   I felt like it was time to move on in life.  

And so I did.   I got older, went to college, graduated, got my first teaching job.  I hadn't really thought about horses at all.   I had the "grown up" life to live.  

But life does work in mysterious ways.  

Three years after I got my first teaching job, I was let go due to overstaffing.  It was not because of my performance; we just had too many teachers and not enough students.  I thought my life was over, and that this was the worst thing that could ever happen to me.   I loved teaching at that school, and I still cherish the memories I made there.   I was completely devastated when I had to leave.  

My first year at my new teaching job was rough; I didn't have my own classroom and had to travel on a cart to use someone else's room each period.  I had an "office" which was really a windowless closet on the second floor.   I wondered why I was there.  Why I had to leave my dream teaching job.   I wondered when it would get better.  

One day as I was walking through the guidance office, I noticed a quote on the wall.  It read, "obstacles are opportunities in disguise."   I kept this as my motto, and kept telling myself that there was a reason why I was here.  

There was a reason, and I promise it leads to horses.  Bear with me!

For Christmas that year, I received a copy of the Sims 3 Pets.   I remember loading it up on my computer for the first time, and adding a horse to my household (of course, who wouldn't).   But something just stopped me in my tracks.   The sound of the horses in the game-the sound of hoofbeats and tack that jangles when you place it on the horse.   The sighs and snorts and all of those familiar sounds that I hadn't heard in so long were so accurate on this game that I literally sat there and cried for about thirty minutes.  Yep, a grown adult crying over a video game.   I'm not even ashamed.

But still, I figured that my time was up.  I mean, a horse wasn't going to fit in my backyard.   But I couldn't shake it.   I felt like there was a part of me missing, and I needed to get it back.  

And on January the 5th, 2014 I sent out a tweet.

I had asked if anyone knew where I could ride, and one of my students was quick to respond. She recommended the LEC.  when I checked the map location, I discovered that it was just a few minutes from my work.  If you all know me you know I don't like to drive to places I don't know.  This small distance from a familiar location seemed manageable.   And so that day I sent an email to schedule a lesson.  

And my life has never been better.

If it weren't for me losing my job, I would not have been teaching at a new location that is close to the barn, which means I wouldn't have felt comfortable driving there that first lesson.  If it weren't for my new job and these new students, one of them would not have recommended the LEC.  If it weren't for the video game, I never would have heard all of those familiar sounds that drove me back to horses quicker than I ever had imagined.

So why do I tell you this?   Sometimes, these obstacles in front of us seem so insurmountable that we are not sure how we will move on.  We focus on the difficulties that lie in front of us.  We focus on the sadness and pain.  

but life has an incredible way of working out, and will surprise you when you need it the most.

SIX Important Things I Learned This Show Season

1. Sometimes your happiest moments come from the most unexpected circumstances:   My favorite memory of this show season was when we took the half-arabian, half-hackney horse, Halle Berry, to the Lawrenceburg Horse Show.   We didn’t have time to warm up, and we were literally pulling out a half a bale of hay out of her mouth as we were rushing her to the ring.   I didn’t have the best equitation in that class, but I can honestly say I laughed all the way around the ring because I couldn’t believe that we actually took this horse to the show-it was the most fun I’ve had in a long time.   Most of my happiest moments were not associated with ribbons. To be honest, I can't even remember what place we got at the show. I remember my happiest moment at nationals was not when I won 3rd place in the qualifying class (which was a tough split), but it was when I ran to meet my friend after she finally qualified for the next day.  I was happier in that moment than when they announced my own number.   
2. The world is not fair.   I remember looking at the judges cards after the second round at nationals.  Two of the three judges had me within the top 10- what I needed to place in order to move on.  The third judge, however, didn’t place me at all.   If he had, I would have been competing on Sunday.   I pouted and complained for a long while, but at this point I think that I shouldn’t have made it that close.  Is it fair that someone cantered into me while another stopped in front of me, leaving me with nowhere to go?  Nope.   Can I do anything about it?  Nope.   It hurts worse because it happened at a national horse show, but it happens to everyone.  
3. Your failures and successes this year do not determine what you do next year.   One of the riders who won the championship on Sunday didn’t even get a ribbon the year before.   If we constantly keep ourselves in the past, someone else is going to move forward.   And while I am so severely disappointed in myself, I am doing my best to move on and grow.   Here’s to no stirrup November!   
4. Just because someone else doesn’t notice it, you do have successes to celebrate.   I celebrate the fact that I can’t even remember the last time I didn’t get the correct lead or didn’t pick up the canter on Lucy.   This is a pretty big deal, because she is one of the hardest horses in the barn to get to canter.    I celebrate the fact that I kept going, despite some terrible circumstances.   I celebrate the fact that I competed with a wonky allergy-affected eye.   I celebrate that I got to show some of the most challenging horses in the barn this year-Trix, Halle, Henry, Lucy.
5. It’s ok to be sad, disappointed, or a little mad.   It is ok to blame someone else or something else.  It’s ok to get frustrated at the people who shrug their shoulders and roll their eyes when they get third-or second-place.   For a little while.   I am kind of over it at this point, but it took a lot of alone time and a lot of tears.   These emotions mean that you put your heart and soul into what you do-and that is a good thing.   But if you make excuses for yourself you will never grow.   
6. Don’t let the cost magnify the disappointment.   I beat myself up HARD after this horse show.   Why?   Because this one cost exponentially more than the other shows.  I mean, I could’ve taken a pretty good vacation for that money.   I am not rolling in the dollars, either, so I felt like I had wasted a ton of money.   But a horse show is just a horse show, whether it be 30 minutes down the road or three hours or three states away.   Disappointment, victory, tears, happiness can happen anywhere.   I am trying to understand that it was a learning experience, even though it was a really expensive one.   

So what now?  I keep asking myself this.   I guess I’ll keep working, keep riding, and maybe try again next year.   

Making the INCREDIBLE the INEVITABLE: Why You Need to Practice Until You Cannot Get it Wrong

So, a few days ago, I saw a this Gatorade commercial on TV.

You say "insane", I say "I train"

You say "freakish", I say "frequent"

You say "ridiculous", I say "meticulous"

You say "incredible", I say "inevitable"

Something about this video just stuck with me.   So much, in fact, that it inspired an entire post (which you are reading this very second).  

I think a lot of times we see something amazing, like a person walking a tightrope across two buildings or someone who swallows swords without a single injury.  We see football teams make amazing catches that require forty thousand replays.  We wallow in the wonder of these incredible individuals.   Such the same is for horses,

But, while these acts and amazing rides are quite incredible, they all have something in common: they were inevitable.   Someone, somewhere worked and practiced until they couldn't get it wrong.   Until the incredible was inevitable.   Sometimes we get so jealous of others that are seemingly "perfect" that we fail to realize that this was not a fluke, or some stroke of amazing luck.   This was carefully crafted in hot, scorching summers.  It was crafted in long, dark winters when no one else was around.   The shows, the performances--these are all just the public displays of this hard work.  

We won't all be perfect.   I know I won't be.  I have a list of all the things I HAVE to improve on if I want to be as good as I can be.   But I am not waiting around for good luck to hand me a ribbon--I'm gonna work for it.   

Are You Ready to Work at the Barn?(Quiz)

With so many of our seasoned workers running off to college, our barn has been looking for workers to take the open shifts.   This decision should not be taken lightly, so I made a handy test that will let you know if you have what it takes to work at the barn.  

Here's how this works:  For every "yes" you answer, you get two points.   For every "no", you receive one point.  Add them up at the end and see how you do!

1. Can you tack up a horse without assistance?
• (2 points) YES
• (1 point) NO
2. Are you willing to work really, really hard?  Even when it is raining and you have to swim through the outdoor arena to feed the ponies?
• (2 points) YES
• (1 point) NO
3. Are you willing to take demands from instructors, clients, and diva-mare horses?
• (2 points) YES
• (1 point) NO
4. Have you made peace with the fact that you will always be covered in mud, hay, etc.  and that sometimes even after you shower, you will find hay in your hair---especially when you are out in public places?
• (2 points) YES
• (1 point) NO
5. Do you know where to locate the leftover cookies, popsicles, and three year old (but still good) camp candy?
• (2 points) YES
• (1 point) NO
6. Do you know of at least three hiding spots in the barn in case you want to avoid doing any kind of work?
• (2 points) YES
• (1 point) NO
7. Can you name at least three "no no pet" horses?
• (2 points) YES
• (1 point) NO
8. Are you willing to eat candy corn and Gatorade for dinner because you are too tired to fix (or pick up) food after working?
• (2 points) YES
• (1 point) NO
9. Have you prepared your mind and  body for a permanent state of exhaustion?
• (2 points) YES
• (1 point) NO
10. Are you willing to answer questions from children that include but are not limited to: Is it full grown? where's it's mom? Is it pregnant? is it a boy or a girl?
• (2 points) YES
• (1 point) NO

Now, calculate your results!   

20 points: WOW!  You are SO ready to work at the barn.  In fact, go on and put your work boots on and get to the barn right now.   

17-19 points:   You might not realize exactly what you are getting yourself into, and you might need a little help along the way, but you can be whipped into shape in no time.  

15-16 points:  You've got a long way to go, but I have faith in you.   Even though you have no idea what you're getting yourself into, I think if you brush up on your list of hiding spaces and no no pet horses you will be good to go.    

Less than 15 points:  No.   Just don't.  You are better off trying to help with the mechanical horse at Wal-mart than the real ones at the barn.... here's a quarter. 

Setting Examples... and Why it's Been So Quiet on the Blog

I am not going to lie... Summer show season 2016 hasn't gone exactly how I had planned.   I had high expectations after winning blue after blue at the winter tournaments, and I had some of those similar expectations for myself this summer.  After all, I would be competing against some of those same people.   It's been tough, but I still come to work my shifts.   I still show up the day after the show to practice.  There have been so many times I have felt like giving up, like no one believes in me, and that maybe this isn't "my thing" after all.   I had stopped writing for the blog, and instead started formulating my "speech" for why I wouldn't be coming to lessons anymore.   This is real talk, people.

But at the last show, something miraculous happened.  And no, I am not talking about a ribbon.   I am not even talking about how I had to finish the second class minus one front shoe.

Here's what happened:

I had been working all morning at the barn,  trying to preserve my makeup while getting all of the show horses brushed and tacked and ready to compete for the day.   I was tired before I even mounted my horse for the first class.   To me, this was just another "eh" show, with minimal expectations because I had done so horribly this summer at the other shows.  

But as I was leaving the warm up ring and heading to the outdoor arena, so many of the little children stopped and said "good luck" to me.  Their eyes were wide with excitement and I could tell that the well wishes were very much genuine.  I started to chortle my usual sarcastic "yeah I will need it".   But instead of my sarcasm, I smiled back and said thank you.  

When we were in the line up in the second class, all of the children were packed into the "crow's nest", the area where our announcer sits.   I saw them peek at the numbers of the winning entries and immediately saw jaws drop and huge smiles--and they were looking right at me.   It was at that moment that I realized how much the younger riders look to us older riders and parents and friends, and how much of an example we can be.   it is not fair to myself or to them to be negative.   Because at some point, if I keep being negative, the number of children wishing me luck will diminish to zero and all I will have accomplished is teaching others that you don't ever need to believe in yourself, especially when times are tough.  

I am not perfect, and I never will be.   I have faults--especially like when I ride around the arena like I am in a toilet bowl and accidentally forget to switch my whip when we reverse and sometimes I even lose my stirrups going into the lineup.  

When it comes to who is watching you, the judge isn't the only one who matters.

How Working at the Barn Will Make You A Better Rider

I am writing this blog post now, after working or riding or being with horses every day since I have been out of school (that's June 1)... except for maybe two days.   Today, I worked our annual non-profit HOOF (Horses Offering Opportunities for the Future) camp, and then I took a lesson today.  So. Much. Sweat.  I am exhausted.

But, even though I am exhausted, I will do it again and again.  Why?   Because working at the barn WILL make you a better rider.   Here's how.

1. Endurance.  If you are able to have a successful ride after working a blugillion hours at the barn, you will be able to handle any weather at a horse show.   We can't quit simply because we are tired.  We are not guaranteed 100% health on the day we show, so we have to prepare as best as we can.   By working, riding, and working some more, we are building muscles in our legs, arms, back, and even our little brains are getting a workout.  And guess what?  You can use those muscles while riding.  The barn is the ultimate workout, people!

2. Patience.  Sometimes, lessons don't start on time.  Sometimes, you are trying to help a child put away their horse and all you can think about is how you have five horses to get ready and only an hour to do it in.   Sometimes, forty people are telling you to do forty different things.  You have to be patient.  Not only when you work, but when you ride as well.  I don't get as frustrated as I used to when I am riding and a horse spooks--in fact, I find it hilarious and I try to be patient and understand that the horse is just trying to be a horse (which means hide from all real and imagined predators at all times).

3. Awareness.  One of the coolest things about working is that you get to see other people ride the horse(s) you ride.  Often times, I will watch lessons while I water, or as I am carrying tack to a horse's stall.  It's nice to see other riders (especially really skilled ones) ride a horse you ride; it helps you see what works and doesn't work and lets you apply that to your own riding.  It also lets you see how really dang cute your favorite horse is, which is also pretty nice.

4. Connection. The more time you spend with the horses, the more you get to know them and what makes them "tick".   There are horses in the barn that I can tell are extra grumpy without even getting close to the stall.  I can tell by the body language, the way they move around the stall, how alert they are, etc.   The more we know about a horse, the better we can ride it.

5. Appreciation.  Let me tell you, You appreciate a lesson 1000x more when you have to work for one.   I think I value every minute that I am in the saddle, because I know how hard I work to be able to ride as much as I do.    You do what you have to do for the things you love.  I think everyone at some point should have to work to pay for one lesson; it definitely gives you a better perspective.

5 Ways to Tell Your Barn/Lesson Workers "Thank You"

Since I have been out of school (I am a teacher), I think I have spent every day either working or riding (or both) at the barn... except for maybe like two days.  During this time, I've thought a lot about how hard a lot of us work at the barn, and I have felt so thankful for those people who find ways to say "thank you" to all of us who do our best to keep things running smoothly at the barn.   This post is mostly about the lesson workers (or "lesson helpers" or "working students" as they are sometimes called).   These kiddos often get overlooked and in my experience some of the hardest working people I have ever known.   So here it goes--in case you are wondering how you can say "thank you!"   

1. Clean up after yourself and your horse. I get it.  We are done riding, and especially in this super hot weather (the heat index has been close to 100), it is so tempting just to leave all of your saddles, blankets, etc. for someone else to pick up.  I will tell you, it means a LOT to us when you take the time to put everything away before you leave.   We don't even mind if you have to ask us where it goes, or ask us to help you.  That's what we're here for!

2. Arrive Early.  If you can.  Some of us have jobs that leave us racing to the barn, or we are stuck in traffic a mile long.  but if you can, come early.   I like to come early to get my own horse ready even when I am not working.  This not only helps the lesson workers, but it also gives me time to connect with my horse before the lesson.   Also, if you come early, it gives you time to check that the girth is fitted properly and make any last minute adjustments before your lesson.  When us workers tack up approximately 2948294890900 horses in one shift, mistakes DO happen and sometimes things need to be adjusted.  

3. Be patient.  Some shifts don't start until 4 and there will be a group of 7 horses going at 4:30.  We are doing the best we can.  In fact, when we are riding during our shifts, we will leave our own horse until last to ensure that YOUR lesson will start on time and your horse will be ready for when you arrive.   But life happens sometimes.   Sometimes, it takes 30 minutes to catch a horse in the field.  Sometimes, the electricity goes off in the middle of a lesson.  Sometimes, three unannounced riders show up.   We're doing the best we can.  I promise.

4. We like snacks... Just kidding.  Once, Betsy bribed us with a package of Oreos in exchange for cleaning tack.  I cleaned that tack SO HARD for those Oreos.  It was the best day ever.

5.  Say, "Thank you!" I love all of the riders who take time out of their day to thank us for getting their horse ready, or for turning them loose in the stall, or remembering to put their gear in a specific place.   It means a lot.

The 5 Stages of Getting Over A Really Bad Ride

Welp, this isn't a happy post, y'all.   I think I wouldn't be so hard on myself if I had truly done my best and had a clean ride and still lost--the competition was tough.   It's been a tough few weeks, and an even tougher weekend.   So here you go, people.  Here's how you get over a bad ride.

1. Cry.  Yep.  I've done that a lot this weekend.  No shame here.  Here is a list of all of the things I have cried about this weekend:
             1. Feeling like I let myself down.
             2. Feeling like I let my friends down.
             3. Feeling like I disappointed my instructor and that she will never want to coach me again because it isn't worth it.
             4. When I remembered all the bad things I did in front of the judge in both classes.
             5. Feeling embarrassed about #5.
             6. Thinking about what my instructor said after the class which also made me feel sad.
             7. Feeling like I will never be good enough or prepared enough.
             10. Wondering which horse I will have to ride next
             11. Thinking that nationals will probably not happen this year after my crapstorm debut.
             12. Knowing that no matter what anyone says, it WAS my fault.
             13. Knowing that I didn't do my best, no matter what anyone says.
             14. Thinking that I might have moved up to the WTC division too soon.
             15. Feeling bad because I blamed the horse for things that were my fault.
             16. Wishing that I had my own stupid horse to ride all the time for consistency
             17.  Feeling that all of the money and time that I spent was a waste.
     
2. Analyze.  What did you do differently that day?   I will tell you, I will never wear mismatched socks again. Did you visualize the ride?   Did you mentally and physically prepare yourself?   How did you warm up?   One thing I know was different is that because the classes were structured a little odd, I only got to trot around the warm-up ring once before going int he class.   I didn't get to canter, and I really felt unprepared (even though I shouldn't have been).

3. Take ownership.  Did the horse stop cantering?  what were you doing to ensure the next step was a canter? I admit, I don't think I was that focused. Did you pick up the wrong diagonal or the wrong lead?   It wasn't the horse's fault--you didn't pay attention enough to set him (or yourself) up correctly.  As much as we think so, the horses aren't out to get us.   We have to stop blaming others, blaming the weather, blaming the horse, and blaming the judge.  we need to look to ourselves to be better.  
       
4. Remember that you got EXACTLY what you paid for.  Not once on the sign-up sheet did it say that I was guaranteed anything.  The fee that I paid included board, transport, and entry and coaching fees. Ribbons are not included in this cost.  Remember that you are paying money for someone to judge you and rank you among the others in the group.

5. Ride. To be honest, I am not at that stage yet.  Right now, I think I am in stage 3 or 4, but I don't really know if I am ready to ride again.  I work on Tuesday, and even then I might not ask to ride.   This is the toughest thing to do.  Even when you do well at a show, the first ride back is always the hardest.   I am not sure why I feel this way, but it is especially tough to get back on and sit up straight and do it all over again.   But you do.

While you are saying "I CAN'T," someone else is saying "I CAN".

Let's just start this out by saying this:  I had a horrible ride on Thursday.  I mean, the kind that make you cry in the car on the way home, and question why you are even putting yourself though all of the stress in the first place.   I usually look forward to my Saturday morning shift at the barn, but even I was dreading it today.   I was in such a bad mood, I didn't even want to think about anything with hooves.

But I went to work anyway.  And somewhere along the way, I realized that I can choose to mope and blame the weather, or the horse, or the saddle, or my own (perceived) inabilities.  I absolutely have the freedom to choose to say "I can't".   No one is forcing me to do anything.   

But everyone has their own struggle.   Maybe it is a horse that won't walk, or a horse that will really only get the correct lead 60% of the time.  Struggles can be personal, like health  or family issues.   Either way, everyone is fighting some sort of a battle.  

So you can choose to say "I can't".   You can choose to say that the struggle is too great to overcome.  

But somewhere, someone else is looking at that same struggle and is saying "I can".   

By saying "I can", you do not guarantee yourself success.   By believing in yourself, you are not guaranteed the blue ribbon ride.   Sometimes, that horse will pick up the wrong lead in front of the judge.  It happens.   

But by saying "I can", you are giving yourself permission to succeed.  You are saying to yourself that success is possible, and even probable.   You are allowing yourself to dream bigger than before.   

And so I said "I can" today, and decided to ride that same horse that I rode two days ago.  I didn't want to wait until my normal lesson tomorrow, because I didn't want this negativity to take up any more of my time.   

And I succeeded.   It wasn't perfect, but it was a vast improvement from a couple of days ago.  but I succeeded because I gave myself permission to do so.  I didn't let the "I can't" take control.   

Does this mean that I will only be blessed with good rides?   Probably not.   I can guarantee that at some point between now and the show I will come galloping through the center of the ring just trying to keep my life together.   But I can guarantee that I will also have good rides, too.  

Because right now, the only four words in my vocabulary are:

                 I can.   

                 Whoa, walk.

Three Reasons Why Dreams Are Different As Adults

We have lost a little of the "magic".   I think, as a child, I imagined that one day I would wake up on Christmas morning and find a horse in my front yard.  I spent years playing pretend in my yard and begging my parents over and over again.  I did get a horse (finally) when I was younger, and it was everything I had hoped for.   Unfortunately, I gave up riding for a long time (over eight years) after his passing.  Coming back as an adult, the "magic" and possibilities are now so severely limited.  There is no one to buy me a horse for Christmas, and no more "surprises".   In a way, that is a good thing, because I don't waste my time on dreams I know won't happen, but it still is much different than those big-eyed children that frolic through the barn happily dreaming of Christmas ponies. 

Everything seems so "pressing" right now, because we know that each ride could be our last.   As adults, our bodies are older, more worn out.   We know that there are so many life obstacles and events that could take away this dream in an instant.   We count the rides, and savor each moment.   We know that at any time, this dream could be over.   We force ourselves to try to advance quickly, ride as many horses as possible, just in case we never get to do this again.   

We feel guilty for sacrificing for our dream.  We have bills to pay, families to support, repairs to complete on our homes, the list goes on and on.   There are times when we see how much time and money we have spent and we feel guilty for doing it.  We sacrifice time with our own families to practice, work, and show.  We wonder why we are even here in the first place.  

But the beautiful thing is that, despite all of these obstacles...

we do still dream.

Why Adults Need Horse Show Moms Too

I am an adult.

Yes, I know I look like one of the little teen barn children as I bounce through the barn, laughing and joking, but I am an adult.   I have a job, I pay bills, I take care of my house.   I am, altogether, independent.  

However, this flies out the window once I get to a show.  I read somewhere that "the brain is a miraculous thing... It starts working from the moment it is developed until the time you enter the show ring".  I think it should be revised to "...until you reach the horse show grounds", because it seems like we are all rushing like mad and forgetting things and making bad decisions out of anxiousness, excitement, and plain fear.  

Thankfully, many barns (including mine) have their share of horse show moms.  You know, the ones sporting their child's name on the back of a tie-dye t-shirt or the ones faithfully lugging a blinged-out show trunk.  These are the moms that wake at unreasonable hours and endure summers in the long, hot sun.   These are the moms that would do anything for their child.  

But these are also the moms who "adopt" us older riders.  They are the ones who notice us in the corner, nervous and unsure.  They share tips and tricks, and make us feel welcome.   They are also the ones who help us tape our gloves and boots, and repair those pesky helmet straps or straighten our ties.  They cheer for us when we win, and comfort us when we lose.  

And what is miraculous is that they don't have to do any of this.  We are not their children.  There is nothing "at stake" for them if we win or lose.   But they do it because they are the "real" horse show moms, the caretakers of the barn.

So here's to all of you moms who go out of your way for us older riders and make us feel like one of your own.

We love ya!  

Stop making EXCUSES and start making OPPORTUNITIES

I think there is this notion that opportunities are given to us and that there is nothing we can do to control these events that seem to happen by chance.   So many times we spend our time making excuses for ourselves that we fail to see the opportunities right in front of our faces.  I read a quote once from Thomas Edison, which reads:

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”

This is true, even in a barn environment.   You want an opportunity?  Work for it!   Come to the barn.  You are ten times more likely to find an “opportunity” at the barn than you are at home on the couch.   This doesn’t mean you need to spend money to ride.   Come out and help with pony parties, offer to clean tack, come out and watch your friend ride, or groom your favorite horse.  Offer your help without expectation of something in return.  

One Saturday, a few weeks ago I was working my morning shift.   One rider rode SIX TIMES in just one day.   And I am sure the haters will begin to hate and complain and make excuses. They always do.  But what a lot of people don’t know is that rider tacked up, bathed, and cared for all of those horses except the one or two she was scheduled to ride.   She didn’t expect anyone else to do it for her.  She didn’t make excuses as to why she couldn’t.   SHE made the opportunity for herself.    I am not saying that we all can ride six times in one day (wouldn’t we all love to?), but we need to understand that opportunities come from hard work, instead of by chance.  

Another rider “caught” a ride on a really cool horse last year, and ended up winning the class after only riding the horse for (I think) a total of fifteen minutes.   Again, it is easy to say something along the lines of “well if I had ____ horse I would win too”, but the truth of the matter is that this rider worked hard to be one of the best in the barn, and she makes it look pretty effortless.   She didn’t “accidentally” win the class.

So, stop making excuses for yourself.   These are just barriers between you and your dreams.   Come out to the barn, volunteer, work hard, and improve your own mind and body.  

So put on those overalls and make opportunities for yourself

...and you will succeed.  

An Open Letter to Riders Before the Upcoming Show Season

Dear Rider,

The show season is just about to begin, and I know you are jittery with anticipation.  The world seems to glitter before your eyes, and your dreams are grand and gorgeous.   Your clothes are neatly pressed, waiting for the first ride.   You’ve peeked at them at least a thousand times, and tried them on “just to see” a thousand times more.   

You expect success--that is what all of those winter rides were for.   Those winter rides when you couldn’t feel your fingers and your breath loomed over your head in puffy clouds of exhaustion.   You imagined the warm rays of summer.   You imagined the freshly bathed horses and shiny tack and polished boots.  They seemed so far away, then.  But now, they are just on the edge, like the dreams that hang on the tip of your tongue like sweet candies.  

And so, on this eve of a show season, you dream big, beautiful dreams.   You dream of victory passes and the traditional organ music.  You dream of funnel cakes and cotton candy fingers.   You dream of friendships.   You dream of your favorite horse and the perfect class.   You dream of a cheering section that erupts into thunderous applause whenever you pass.    You dream of all of these things, and much more.   

And you will have those moments.  You will bounce around the showgrounds sporting your newly-acquired ribbons.  You’ll huddle around the dark screens of the photographer’s booths, trying to catch a glimpse of that perfect ride.  You’ll think about these moments for hours, days, or even weeks after.  You will be elated to see the smiles in your instructors’ faces as they congratulate you afterwards.   You’ll swarm social media with positive, dreamy posts.  

But sometimes you will forget.  Not everything can glitter forever, and it sometimes needs polishing.   You will cry.  You will feel defeated.  You will make mistakes.   You will avoid eye contact as you leave the show ring with nothing but yourself and your horse.   

But you, rider, will not give in.  You will not give up.  You will work harder, stronger, smarter than ever before.  You will know that defeat is not temporary.   You will know that defeat will not define you.    And so you will continue on, despite your hardships... And you will rise again.   

So on this evening, rider, cherish this moment.  Sit in the silence and think about those big, beautiful dreams.    Let your mind have a chance to imagine these dreams rich in color because you have no room for doubt.   You have no room for fear.   You are capable of great, wonderful things.

Sincerely (and good luck),

An adult who has big, beautiful dreams, too.  

What's in My Caboodle- The ULTIMATE Summer Academy Horse Show Supply List

Makeup: If you are a guy, you might ignore this section!     Just bring everything.  Even if you do your makeup before you get to the show, no one can guarantee that there won't be a sudden downpour, or a horse that wants to use you as his personal towel.   It is also a good idea to buy a make-up sealer (it is a spray) that will protect your make-up from smudges and humidity.  

Click here for the product: ELF make-up setting spray

Gear: 

Whip: You can purchase them from a ton of places, but a good starter whip that looks nice and is cost effective is this whip from Hartmeyer Saddlery: Saddle Seat Show Whip

Helmet: Many instructors do not like colorful or really bulky helmets in the ring.   Choose a helmet that fits close to your head, and stays in place when you move your head from side to side.   Don't order these online!   Go to a tack store and try them on- even with a fitting chart, it is difficult to anticipate whether a helmet will fit or not.  Do not buy used!  Try this helmet (available in most tack stores):  Ovation Deluxe Schooler Helmet

Stirrups/Saddle : for stirrups, choose the shortest length (even if you are an adult).   I purchased mine from Amazon.  Make sure when purchasing stirrups, you are buying a PAIR.  Some sellers offer them individually (yeah, I don't understand it either).   For leathers, get REAL LEATHER, or else they will stretch and be unusable.   You can google how to measure for stirrup iron size.  

             Stirrup leathers: Gatsby Stirrup Leathers

             Stirrup Irons: Coronet Premium Fillis Stirrup Irons

Clothes

Show Shirt and Vest: Talk to your instructor.   Do not buy anything online without careful consideration!   It is so hard to guarantee fit when you purchase online.  some places, like Commotion Consignment Riding Apparel  will ship items to you to try on.  That way, you can get your instructor's permission before purchasing the items.  

Jods and Underpasses: Your instructor can help you find jods (pants) if you need them, but make sure you get underpasses as well.  These hold your pants down and keep them from riding up as you show.  Buy an extra pair!  These do not last forever and will break at some point-it is better to be prepared.  

             Underpasses: Single Button Underpasses from Hartmeyer

           

Change of Clothes: This is pretty self explanatory.  You could be rained on, slobbered on, or even covered in sweat or funnel cake crumbs-- bring extra clothes just in case.   

Rain Riding Gear: It's going to rain at some point in your show season.   Just accept your fate. Bring rain riding gear!

            Rain riding jacket:  Schneider's Clear Rain Coat

Gloves: My favorite are the SSG pro show gloves.  They look nice, they are breathable, and they are easy to wear.   

            Gloves: SSG Leather Pro Show Gloves (Amazon)

Jod Savers: These are inexpensive but SUPER important!  They are what keep your jods from being dragged through the dirt.   They come in cute or plain styles. 

              Jod Savers: Colorful Cuff Straps from Hartmeyer

Tie:find them at any clothing store, or specially made with bling from etsy or any show consignment store. 

Boots:most instructors prefer the pull-on style.   You can get either patent leather (which is TOUGH to keep in great shape) or normal jod paddock boots.   

              here are some affordable boots that I love: Ovation Finalist Elastic Side Jodphur Boots

Accessories

Earrings: The bigger the better.  Hey, you do what you can to distract the judge from your horrible legs. 

Tie Bar: It is also called a "collar bar".   This is what makes your tie look nice and neat with your show shirt.  

              Collar bar: show Ring Outfitters Collar Bar Collection

Bun Bows : you can make them or buy them.   There are so many styles out there!   

              Bun Bows: Bun Bows on Etsy

              Want to make your own? Purchase this PDF from etsy: Bun Bow Tutorial

Lapel Pin: This makes you look more put together as a rider.  Get the magnetic ones so it won't ruin your vest. 

               Lapel pin: Double row Magnetic Horsehoe Lapel Pin

Number Pins/Magnets: You don't want to damage your nice show clothes, so number magnets keep you from having to put a pin through your vest.   Some places, like Show Ring Outfitters, sell sets that include earrings, a collar bar, number magnets, and a bun bow in matching styles and colors.

              Bow, collar bar, magnet, earring, and lapel pin set: "Lucky" show set, 5 colors  

Hair

Hair Nets: I get mine at Sally's Beauty Supply and always have at least two on hand in case one gets torn.  

           Hair Net:  Ultra Invisible Hair Net

Flat Bobby Pins:These are your regular, run-of-the-mill bobby pins.   Buy a few packs and stash them in your caboodle.  

           You can buy an ENTIRE POUND of these for around $8:  Mairanna Bobby Pins, 1lb.

V-Shaped bobby pins: These bobby pins are a little harder to find (I get mine at Sally's).  They are v-shaped, and these are what give your bun its shape.  It is almost impossible to make your bun appear seamless and polished without these things.  Get the smaller sized ones, though--the large ones are HUGE.  

           V-shaped bobby pins: Sta-Rite Assorted Hair Pins

Hair Brush: I think it is nice to have a brush only for horse shows.   Nothing is worse than handing someone a crusty three year old hairbrush and expecting them to do your hair with it.  

hair Spray:Think "how they hold their hair together in the 80s".   Get the strongest stuff you can find. 

            Hairspray that holds: Aqua Net Super Hold Unscented Hair Spray

Hair Ties: Bring extra!   It really sucks to have one break and to have to search around for a replacement. 

Other

Electrical Tape: We use this to tape gloves and boots to make them appear seamless under your riding clothes.  Bring lots of tape!

             Electrical tape: Industrial Grade Electrical Tape, 10pk.

Clothes Pins: Just in case you forgot your magnets and need to pin a number, or for those unexpected wardrobe malfunctions. 

Sewing Kit: To repair minor tears and holes in your clothing.  

Snacks: I like to stash CLIF bars in my bag; they are easy to eat, full of carbs (for energy) and lots of protein.  Plus, they're super tasty.  

Lysol Wipes: Use these or the "wet ones" wipes.   It's great for getting dirt off your hands (if you decide to pet your horse and then get slobber on you) or to freshen up before you change into your "go home" clothes. 

              Wet Ones Antibacterial Hand Wipes Singles

Money/Cash: Many of us use mostly card, instead of cash.  But many shows charge for parking, or offer really tasty fair food that you just can't resist and you will need cash in order to purchase these things. 

Lint Roller: this is one of my most important items!   Do you know how much hair can get on jods when you are around a horse?   It is enough to make papyrus, I am sure.  

Shoe Polish: There are lots of mini size shoe polishes that come with the applicator sponge already attached.   It is nice to have on hand in case you accidentally scuff your boots and need a quick fix.